Learning To Trust Again
by Selena Barton
Summary: POV: Paine Introspective One shot Pairings: Paine x Rikku, Paine x Yuna


Title: Learning to Trust Again  
Author: Selena Barton ( Dannieevans )  
Series: Final Fantasty X-2

Rating: PG  
Warnings: Shouji-ai/Yuri, Spoilers for parts of the game.

Genre: Fluff  
Pairings: Paine x Rikku (past) Paine x Yuna (present)

POV: Paine

Disclaimer: Not mine. If they were I wouldn't be on unemployment.

For: Yuri Drabble #1 – First Kiss

Learning to Trust Again

Trusting another person is not my greatest skill. In fact, it's my greatest flaw. I haven't been able to let anyone that close to me since Nooj shot us. Knowing it was the pyre-flies really didn't change the fact that someone I trusted with my life tried to take it away from me. I guess that all started to change with Rikku and Brother.

I wouldn't trust Brother with a chocobo chick for 5 minutes. He's just not the most responsible person. Rikku's not the most mature or responsible either, but she's close to me. I don't know how I let her get that close. She annoys me sometimes, but she really does mean well. Nights curled up together, holding her against me for the warmth and contact. I never felt a strong love or anything like that. I just needed to feel like there was someone there. Besides, the only females on the ship had to stick together. It was a comfort on those nights to lay there and run my fingers through that blonde hair and to let my lips touch that flesh. Those needs for contact being met for both of us.

I didn't know I could ever care again. I didn't know I could trust someone to be that close to me that I'd love them again. That was until Yuna joined the ship. Rikku mentioned her cousin looking for some guy that she obviously respected and cared for at some time. Something about a sphere that had her all upset and needing to make sure this wasn't him. Or was him and needed help. Never have been sure exactly which way she totally wanted it.

Brother fawned over Yuna like a typical, hormonal male. He talked of the girl he saw during the years of Sin – the strength that she had and the mind that was included. I had pictured a completely competent and strong young woman. So when I saw Yuna, I was shocked. She was indecisive, unsure, and seemed incompetent. I thought I was doomed. Between Rikku and Yuna, I wasn't sure which was going to be the lesser of two evils. I could tolerate Rikku only because when the chips were down, she was in all the way. She'd fight when it came down to it. I wasn't sure this Summoner would be able to. I was pretty much on board with a group that thought a Summoner without aeons was just some fancy name for a high up member of Yevon. She had respect because she defeated Sin. That's where I stood the first time I saw her.

She let her opinions on where we were heading switch back and forth to the point I had to look at her and tell her to make up her mind. I was beginning to think I was going to need a score card to keep up with the changes. She just looked at me for a moment, nodded, and went on thinking out loud as her opinion changed yet again. She didn't seem overly certain about anything or competent about anything until the first time we were attacked by fiends. She wasn't great with that gun, but she had determination and for once her mind was set, and had a willingness to fight. That was the first time I had a serious respect for her. The change in her was surprising to me. But her confidence was still lacking. So, I decided to see if she could develop a sense of confidence or if she'd just curl up in a ball and give up.

The next time we were attacked, I bowed out. Not my style and Rikku even looked totally shocked. I'd never left her like that either. But I had to do it. I had to know, and so did they. So I just told them they were on their own and off I went. The fiends didn't care about one piece of meat when they had two right there easy prey. (Or so they thought.) Rikku stepped in as confidence booster. So I still wasn't overly sure Yuna could do anything on her own, but the way they worked together was interesting. Without me to carry the blows, they had to find a new strategy. I then saw their strength. The battle went far better than I had ever anticipated. Okay, so I didn't go out of my own ability to see because I wanted to be there if they really needed me. I had my doubts, I admit it. I was so glad I was wrong in those doubts.

My nights with Rikku ended when Yuna arrived, and I have to admit, I missed the contact with another human. I guess she didn't need me as much with the extra support. I was happy for her. Don't get me wrong. I found a new interest as well. Once I knew Yuna wasn't as helpless as she seemed, it made my time more into finding out what she was capable of doing. I had to know more.

I got my chance the night I found her sitting out on the deck. She was all the way out on the edge near the gull just sitting there so lost in her thoughts that she never heard me approach. I was sat down next to her and speaking before she knew I existed. That night I found out she'd tell anyone exactly what was on her mind in an intelligent way, even if it was full of questions she didn't really want answers for. She poured her heart out that night and started to apologize when she started to cry. I just wrapped an arm around her and let her cry on my shoulder. What else was I supposed to do? She needed a friend, and if I was to admit it, so did I.

A few weeks later, Rikku slipped off somewhere. I didn't really care where. It left Yuna and I alone for the night. I didn't need to hope for anything. I just wanted to be able to watch her without worrying about Rikku catching me. I should have worried about Yuna catching me.

I thought I had closed my eyes and slowed my breathing fast enough, but I was wrong. I heard her get out of bed, then the sound of bare feet on the floor. I felt her hand on my arm as I lay there curled up trying to pretend I was asleep. I tried to ignore the contact, to keep up my charade. Only to hear her say my name and tell me she knew I was awake. I opened my eyes expecting to see something in her eyes that I just didn't see. I saw a curiosity and an emotion I wasn't sure I was ready to deal with yet. I felt the bed give as she sat down, her eyes never leaving mine.

I sat up and started to apologize. I didn't know what she'd say. I didn't know what to say. Her answer wasn't in words. I just know that one second I was telling her I was sorry and the next I felt soft lips pressed to mine. It didn't take long for me to kiss back. My arms wrapped around her and as the kiss deepened, I leaned back drawing her on top of me on the bed. Mistake. She startled and pulled back. Or so I thought it was my fault.

"I'm sorry," she whispered and started to head back to her bed. I reached up to catch her wrist and sat up as quickly as I could. I had to stop her retreat. It was my fault she was startled.

"I'm sorry. I was wrong to...," she started, and I wrapped my other arm around her waist.

"Sit," I said softly, tugging gently at her wrist.

If she was sure she didn't want to, I'm glad she did anyway. I kept my arm around her waist and cupped her cheek with my other hand turning her face to meet mine.

"I should be the one apologizing," I started and let my thumb wipe away the tears running down that cheek. "I got carried away."

"No, I wanted to, just I, ..., I've never..."

I kissed away the tears on her bare cheek, then caught her lips with mine again. "It's alright." It's not like being with Rikku really gave me that much more experience.

Her hands found their way around my neck. Her lips pressed to mine, and for the first time, no guilt was involved for her. And for the first time, trust was in mine.


End file.
